OT: College Female Softball Player Comes Out as Straight

[OntheHudson87]

The following is satire:[/I]
A college softball player from the University of Texas shocked the sports world today by coming out as a heterosexual.

In an emotional press conference this morning, Jennifer Ryan, 23, announced that she was a "proud member" of the opposite-sex community. The senior shortstop is believed to be the first and only openly straight women's softball player in the history of NCAA athletics.


"I would just like to thank everyone who has supported me through this difficult time in my life," she told reporters at McCombs Field in Austin. "For years I have known that I was different, but lacked the courage to be open about my lifestyle with family, friends and teammates.


"Today I would like to tell the world that I am straight. It's not something that I chose. I was simply born this way. And after years of living in the closet, the time has come for me to start being who I really am.
"I want to tell every little girl in America: you don't have to be gay to be an elite softball player. Straight athletes hit just as hard, pitch just as hard, and run just as hard as everybody else.


Read more: Daily Currant
Read more at http://clashdaily.com/2014/05/shocker-female-softball-player-comes-straight/#gOPSR8fQlJDCA5c6.99

 

[Bulletproof09]

Wait wait she apologies for being "STRAIGHT" dam dam dam...
She is the first openly straight softball player.... OK I must be so far in the clouds, I missed the rain...
"UNBELIEVABLE"

 

[BlackKnightStrong]

GREAT POST ONTHEHUDSON!

 

[joeben83]

That's funny.

 

[armyfan]

Originally posted by joeben83:
That's funny.

I just hope the poor gal isn't ripped to shreds by the libs. We think it is funny; some will not!!!

 

[ducrotpepys]

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you people either missed the first four words of the post or you're just unable to recognize what is clearly a satirical article.

 

[DocJayy]

Originally posted by ducrotpepys:
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you people either missed the first four words of the post or you're just unable to recognize what is clearly a satirical article.

Perhaps, but it's still funny as hell.

 

[ducrotpepys]

It's supposed to be funny, that's what satire is.

The fact remains that people on this board thought it was a real story.

 

[Bulletproof09]

Originally posted by ducrotpepys:
It's supposed to be funny, that's what satire is.

The fact remains that people on this board thought it was a real story.

honestly ducrotpepys, it had me going... No i did not see the fine print above it..... hahahahahahahahaha im glad its false...

 

[joeben83]

Originally posted by ducrotpepys:
It's supposed to be funny, that's what satire is.

The fact remains that people on this board thought it was a real story.

Thanks for explaining satire to us.

Here's another fact that remains: you're an insufferable egomaniac.

You have yet to post anything related to football, but have managed to repeatedly condescend to the rest of the board every other time you chime in. It seems the only time you want to post is when the topic of homosexuality comes up and you can flatter yourself with your moral superiority.

You sound like a fun person to have a beer with...

 

[Bulletproof09]

Originally posted by joeben83:

Originally posted by ducrotpepys:
It's supposed to be funny, that's what satire is.

The fact remains that people on this board thought it was a real story.

Thanks for explaining satire to us.

Here's another fact that remains: you're an insufferable egomaniac.

You have yet to post anything related to football, but have managed to repeatedly condescend to the rest of the board every other time you chime in. It seems the only time you want to post is when the topic of homosexuality comes up and you can flatter yourself with your moral superiority.

You sound like a fun person to have a beer with...

Cough Cough Cough. ......

This post was edited on 5/22 6:51 AM by Bulletproof09